A common cultural practice in Western societies involves "showering" a woman with gifts when she is undergoing the major rites of passage of marriage and having a child. Often these events involve women within a community coming together to help a sister make this transition by providing her with some of the material objects she may need to set up a home or a nursery. At times these events can be overtaken by materialism, but they are often a thoughtful and loving way of helping to offset the financial load that these big life shifts can inspire, and they bring family and friends together in a time of celebration and joy.
In my experience, however, our loving intentions can often get myopically focused on having the right tablecloths and punch recipe and miss the major psychological, spiritual and emotional transition that the beloved woman is undergoing. As a result, I know many women who dread going to showers or find them a pleasant, yet often hollow event filled with idle chit chat and crass material exchange.
When a person in my life whom I love dearly was being celebrated with a baby shower, I asked if I could lead a small ceremony involving all of the guests. My intention was to honour the true meaning of our gathering together in support of her. We sat her in the centre of a circle where she was surrounded by all the women in her life. I spoke about the power inherent in expressing our support of this loved one through an intentional blessing or loving gesture, and how this can help her to feel grounded in the deepest part of herself as a woman as she welcomes new life through her. It is also an opportunity to help her to feel less afraid of child birth, and to allow her to visualize a field of love that is rooting for her as she undergoes a major physical ordeal.
The guests and the room were smudged with white sage, and a rock in the shape of a heart was brought forward. Starting with the elders, we asked the women in the community to step into the circle, hold the rock, and speak her intentions for the baby and new family. First, her mother came forward and brought us all to tears as she expressed her desire for the new baby to know the love that she herself has held in her heart for her daughter. One by one, each woman articulated her blessing or shared a story. Sometimes healing hands were spontaneously placed on the new mother and on the baby in her belly. Tears and laughter flowed forward as the room filled with the grace and power of love being expressed and called forth.
As a community we held this mother-to-be in our hearts and imprinted her with our support for her journey. The rock will now be a part of the baby's life, and our new mother will one day tell the child the story of how that heart-shaped rock was blessed by all the women who loved him or her from the very beginning.
In my experience, however, our loving intentions can often get myopically focused on having the right tablecloths and punch recipe and miss the major psychological, spiritual and emotional transition that the beloved woman is undergoing. As a result, I know many women who dread going to showers or find them a pleasant, yet often hollow event filled with idle chit chat and crass material exchange.
When a person in my life whom I love dearly was being celebrated with a baby shower, I asked if I could lead a small ceremony involving all of the guests. My intention was to honour the true meaning of our gathering together in support of her. We sat her in the centre of a circle where she was surrounded by all the women in her life. I spoke about the power inherent in expressing our support of this loved one through an intentional blessing or loving gesture, and how this can help her to feel grounded in the deepest part of herself as a woman as she welcomes new life through her. It is also an opportunity to help her to feel less afraid of child birth, and to allow her to visualize a field of love that is rooting for her as she undergoes a major physical ordeal.
The guests and the room were smudged with white sage, and a rock in the shape of a heart was brought forward. Starting with the elders, we asked the women in the community to step into the circle, hold the rock, and speak her intentions for the baby and new family. First, her mother came forward and brought us all to tears as she expressed her desire for the new baby to know the love that she herself has held in her heart for her daughter. One by one, each woman articulated her blessing or shared a story. Sometimes healing hands were spontaneously placed on the new mother and on the baby in her belly. Tears and laughter flowed forward as the room filled with the grace and power of love being expressed and called forth.
As a community we held this mother-to-be in our hearts and imprinted her with our support for her journey. The rock will now be a part of the baby's life, and our new mother will one day tell the child the story of how that heart-shaped rock was blessed by all the women who loved him or her from the very beginning.
Excellent piece. If people can practice in their own ways to bring authenticity back to ceremony and rites of passage, the larger collective will benefit as well. Nice work and well put. An enjoyable read.
ReplyDeleteExcellent piece. If persons can practice in their own ways and moments to bring consciousness/authentic intention, back to ceremony and rites of passage, the larger collective will benefit. Enjoyable read. Nice.
ReplyDeleteI too enjoyed reading this piece...it is in alignment with my sentiments and the experience I had when I was in my 3rd trimester and my dear friend hosted a 'Blessing Way'. It was a creative and heartfelt way to be surrounded by my community of friends and feel their genuine support and care. Thank you for articulating the importance of these kinds of rituals.
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